Dear BLOG| My Baby Is Suffering

Hello to people who has pet/pets!

My baby boy has been with us for the past 14 years plus and today is the third he is suffering from some pain that we didn't know. He just woke up at 4 a.m. (my mom woke up and have a look at him), and walk around the house until 8.30 a.m. (I woke up at 6 a.m. to replace mom and look at him). I couldn't imagine he will leave us (NO! He is still in the hospital now) someday. 

My mom looks at me and say we just put him to sleep and see he is suffering! I just couldn't imagine he will leave us one day and I believe he can go through this pain (I guess is stomach pain but old age makes everything looks serious). Mom fetched him to the vet now, and I really hope there is nothing wrong with him and everything will be alright. 

I just couldn't put him in sleep! I COULDN'T! And sis wasn't here to say good bye, I am not ready yet! I cried when mom just told Nicky, we love you but we don't want you to suffer. How!? I just couldn't not cry on this. I know it's very selfish to just want him to stay but I just want him to choose his life instead of me set a death sentence to him. 

I just couldn't!

He really my baby since 14 years ago and now he will still remain a baby to me even though he already very old in dog's life. Baby will always baby, just like mom will always be mom who love us so much.

**************************

Mom got back from the vet and the doctor said FOOD POISONING thanks GOD!

Not very serious matter but he sounds like it. We are so worried but now is all good. I don't wish anything could happened during this MCO coz we are not complete yet. Sis wasn't here!

Hope everything will be fine after this.

************************
Update after 2 hours when he came back from vet

I thought he was fine, but he is not! Keep crying and banging the wall, and I don't know how to handle all these without crying. I locked myself in the room so that everyone wouldn't see my cry like a baby, but how can I stop myself from crying? It's my baby suffering!!

We called the vet and he told us that we need to be patience and he is not a GOD (understand from his POV lah but really heartache when you see baby crying there). Hence, we need to how's his condition tomorrow and now he is not making any noise anymore.

Hope is all fine now! I really have no mood to work anymore, feeling sleepy but I'm scare I woke up with baby gone! I don't want this to happen at all. Please help!

No Proof-read

I love you

I am sorry 

Please forgive me 

Thank you

Dear BLOG| Single by 30

Hey guys!

After 4 years of waiting, I finally get to watch Single by 30 (Wong Fu Production) series in YouTube for FREE! I'm very excited on how this had finally come to me.

I'd been watching Wong Fu series for like 10 years and this series was published in YouTube Red back then (since 2016), so I couldn't get to watch it for free or I think country restriction as well. No idea why, but today is the day that I got to watch it like finally!

I'm so exciting right now at this moment.

I must write down this excitement before I forget the next moment.

Happiness is a direction, not a place -Sydney J. Harris-

**no proofread so be mindful**

Dear BLOG| Dad says

Hey guys!

I've been really into baking these days, from cake to bread to scone. Never thought that I can master the baking skill during this MCO days.

Skill unlocked!

Things that dad says..

When he ate my banana bread last week...

Mom: XX, ho chiak? (nice?)
Dad: Bo ho chiak (Not nice)
Me: Huh? Bu hao chi meh? (not nice meh?), wo zuo de le (I bake one)
Mom: Papa doesn't like it la means you bake badly..
Dad: *surprise* ni zuo de a (you bake one a?)
Me: Shi de (YES!)
Dad: mmmm.. Hao Chi! Hao Chi (very nice!)
Mom: He give you encouragement to try more HAHAHAHAHA
Me: Shi lo, ta an wei wo (yes lo, he console me T__T)

When he ate my scone

Me: Hao chi ma?
Dad: Hao chi hao chi (Nice nice!)

My dad always encourages me by eating all the food baked by me! He doesn't really praise in front of us but action make it all (I guess this is one of the family culture we are having since young).

Never give up, there is no such thing as an ending.
Just a new beginning

**no proofread so be mindful**

Dear BLOG| Que Sela Sela

"Whatever will be will be"

Heard this in one of the Taiwanese artist's interview, and felt it so deeply. This was a song from Spain, you can search it if you are interested in.

It's true that life is just unpredictable, whatever will be, it will be and we can't actually stop or work to stop for it. Everything happened for a reason, which I always said so.

You could stop a moment but yet the result seem to be the same no matter how you have try to change or stop. Whatever will be, will be.

We shall appreciate every moment of our life to the fullest and be contented on what we have.

Self note: you must be!

It's always easy to say, but action prove everything. Action!

This is one of the thing that I'd read in every motivational/self-help book. Action makes it reality, and eventually whatever will be, will be!

Be grateful and thank you for every moment of life either bad or good.

Bad lesson always create a good memory of your life, remember the bad lesson and learn from it. Never ever repeat what it had been done. When some of them actually said bad memory shall be forgotten but my POV is that bad memory suffered most people either day or night but somehow you will know what the bad actually helps to fill up some of the doubt that you usually can't figure out if you don't think about it.

No offend, but if you don't speak out of anything, there will always be hole (even speak out also got hole lah, but my point is that at least clear doubt that couldn't actually fill up) in your heart, and you will no longer speak in sincere way. I've a hole in heart like 1.5 years and it started to heal after the speak out, things that I'd thought previously was too complicated but after speak out, I felt it was just a very small matter of my life. There are a huge crisis out there in the world and I'm still living in my own small world. Side note: Covid-19 please #stayathome

Whatever will be, it will be.

Forcing is not a good thing, and it will heal someday when you feel it will be.

I love you
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you

Ho'oponopono

No proofreading, please don't judge :)

Dear BLOG | Dad says

Hello!

Feel to type something out to cope with my boredom during the MCO days, so I came out with these series of dad says.

My dad was not good in expressing himself but when he did, he is pretty funny you know. I don't used to talk to him tbh but when we talked, it all about thing that are irrelevant about life or whatsoever. Random stuff you know!

Dad says...

When he is going out to fetch some fresh food from my aunt...

Dad: So, I'm going to get the foods now

Me: *panic while asking him to get masks* take masks and don't touch your face and mouth, don't touch your mask either.

Dad: *showing me the way of he doing the masking thing* like this right? like this right? *panic also*

Somehow I feel this is so cute of my dad. He will repeat a lot same things but somehow I really feel so funny. (Don't judge ok)


When we were playing mahjong together with mom...**we speak different language every time we communicate*

Me: 我要给多少? (So how much should I pay?)

Mom: 40 cents to me and 20 cents to dad (again don't judge, we small play only. For entertainment purposes)

Dad: Yi 40 cents, gua 20 cents (She *pointing at mom* 40 cents, and I 20 cents)

Me: ??? What? I don't understand why 40 cents (obviously in Mandarin) to mom and 20 cents to you?

Dad: *Panic* Ngam lah, yi 40 cents , gua 20 cents

Me: ??? *I still blur lah obviously coz they always make me blur when come to this counting time, too many pattern and changing all the time LOL*

Dad: 你给我40 cents，给妈咪 20 cents， 因为没有飞!!!!!!!!!

Obviously dad thought I don't understand Hokkien, so he translated the whole thing in Mandarin to me and Hokkien to my mom!! I cannot stand how funny is he!

Mom and I were laughing non-stop on his reaction, because he too want to express the words until he like ok whatever I just explain any language that you both understand lah!

PS: Yes.. Everyone speaks different language in my house and somehow we understand each other well. Mom only speaks English with us, the kids and Hokkien to my dad, and Dad only speak Mandarin to us and Hokkien to my mom. Bro speaks English with mom and Mandarin for the rest of us, me and sis only speaks Mandarin to every single person in our house. Complicated? Yes, kinda but we coped it well all these years lah.

Also when we were playing Mahjong...

Dad: Gua Bo Lui liao (I no money to pay already)

Mom: Yi satu round lah, bo zai lu eh yi leh (Play one more round lah, maybe you will win leh)

Dad and me: ok

Dad won!

Dad: Hehe! Yi liao Yi liao (win already) *the biggest smile he gave throughout the whole entire game time*

Then the next round...

Dad: Gua mai yi liao la...shu ka liao (I don't want play anymore, always lost) *move away*

Then my mom told me he told her that he lost all his money today, so sad....

AWWWW!! Why ma dad so cute one?

He always so cute when he smile but he not often laugh or smile also LOLOLOL...


I think that's enough for a laugh, more to come next time I blogged again.

Travelog: Busan & Seoul

Morning everyone in MCO/circle breaker!

I guessed things getting better after the talk so I'm not going to emotional or whatsoever, here I am sharing my trip to South Korea in 2018! I haven't really write about my trips after so many hoo-haa (or just my laziness to sort out some of the pictures to post, you know, I don't really like to sort thing out quickly LOL), so I'm right now sharing it no matter what. wth

Writing this entry with some Cafe music (Relaxing Jazz & Bossa Nova music) I found in YouTube (YT helped a lot of ma music choices, you know), is kinda relax and chill for me to think and think with happy mode. Trust me I'm no longer gonna think so much about thing, as you said monolog! NOPE! Ok, stop dragging, let's start with the flow. (Note: a long post with nothing informative except my own sharing purposes LOLOL)

I went South Korea with Shin in 2018 and that's was a random thought of going travel to get rid of all the stress around me (apparently it works but somehow HAHAHA, you know it!), so we chose South Korea as our destination. 

One of the reason we chose South Korea as our destination is that both of us had discussed and wanted to go there many years ago, but it always end up with none! So, without any hesitation, we gone to South Korea that year. 

First, we sat bus to KLIA and trust me, we were so stressed out because we are running out of time (our fault of not considering the stopping time in KLIA 2). Once the bus stopped at KLIA, we ran to the counter and checked everything in, JUST IN TIME! Can you imagine how stressed out we were that day, and that was my second time step into KLIA in my whole life (Nope! Don't judge me!).

We sat on the airport sofa and waiting to depart.

It's kinda joke for me the entire flight. I had split juice on my pants and damn, I had a wet pants for the entire 8 hours flight to Seoul. Can you freaking imagine how clumsy I am? I kinda want to hide my face with my blanket except blanket was all wet as well damnn!

Reached Seoul in the morning and we bought a ticket to go Busan by their infamous bullet train. We had different seat arrangement, so yeap, my luck gave me a handsome oppa sitting right in front of me!

The very first stop we went was fish market, to get the fresh live octopus that I always wanted to try!

Jagalchi Fish Market (자갈치시장) - I can't remember which fish market but I guess this is the one we went, if not I can say their fish market looks quite the same for all. 

LIVE OCTOPUS

I freaking love it!

To be honest, it is not as scary as what actually have seen in the documentary. Yes, you can choke/die with it but hello, if you eat it carefully it is alright! 

The tentacle was really strong in my mouth and I can really feel the thing suck my lip so hard. I was really scare initially, but the more I try the more I love how it sucks on my lips. It's so fresh with either the lived or cooked one. And the sauce was marvelous!! Okay,  I can be exaggerated about it but you will never know if you don't try it. 

Shin was pretty scare of it but she still tried it anyway. Don't really like? But try it at least *thumb up*.

  SCALLOP

The scallop were so-so in my opinion (in my memory it wasn't really fancy lah). So, can skip this!

Basically there is nothing to fancy about on the fish market if you are not really a seafood person, I am seafood person just kinda like nothing I love there except the live octopus that make me happy of. LOLOLOLOL

The fish market looks like this and we went there around 4pm so most of the stall starting to clear off and it was quite dark already. This is the disadvantage about late autumn, you get lesser day time and more night time instead. I don't really like it coz it feels like my day pass so fast and dark!

 Fishcake, Eomuk or Odeng 어묵(오뎅)

Honestly this is totally tasteless but the soup is a boom! We have free flow soup for this but is kinda weird to ask for more, so no second round. I wish to have more soup than this eomuk lah.

The taste is all in the soup you know!

So coincidentally there is Busan International Film Festival going on there. I have no idea what is that, but a picture to tell the story. LOLOL

 Tteok-bokki (떡볶이)

It is my all-time-favourite, and you know what we had this like every single day. Oh! Also the Gimbap (김밥) !

Love it

After the walk, we planned to go visit the Busan tower in the freezing cold night, crazy but it totally not-cold at all because we need to climb like 123355748759438 stairs just to see that freaking tower that look like the picture below.

HAHAHAHAHA

 Can you see how many stairs we need to climb before we get to see the precious tower?

 The precious tower that look like this!

LOL

But it worth the climb coz we will not feel so cold anymore, exercise before you get to eat more in the future. Not bad huh!

 Selfie will do.

Spot the mask I was wearing? That's sis bought in Korea the week before we went to Busan. Is really convenience and cute lah (bear you know HAHAHA)

The first look - both of us look so tired but it's fun still!

This is like what 6pm in the evening (?) wth, the day gone dark damn freaking fast until we were so lost with the time already.

Quickly pack up and headed to get our dinner afterward.

The infamous KOREAN FRIED CHICKEN chikin (치킨)

And this was my next day breakfast as well. Damn big portion ok!

One thing that I don't like about South Korea is that you can't just order one and share, there is minimum spending in every single restaurant. My suggestion is to travel with more than 2 people, coz everything will be too big portion for only 2 persons.

Gimbap (김밥)

I will never say no to this, like eat it every single day, especially with Tteok-bokki sauce, heaven!

The next day, we went to Gamcheon Cultural Village, Busan.
It is a MUST to pay a visit at this place.

How to go? My sense of direction always bad so Shin is the one that guide the place and I Googled about it so this directory is all from Google coz the one we had I think I don't know how to go until today lah (you know I'm not the one that lead the direction always).

Toseong Station 토성역 
Exit 6 turn right until you will see the bus stop in front of the hospital.
Look out for bus number 2 or 2-2 (clearly stated "Gamcheon Village" in the English on the side) >> Gamcheon Cultural Village/Gamcheon Elementary School.

To be honest, this is all Google information and I have no idea how I reached there just like this. I remembered the station but bus was like wow! Did I hopped into a bus before I reach there? No idea...

A beautiful staircase in the station, I think is the Toseong Station 토성역 

Gamcheon Cultural Village, Busan, South Korea!

Basically this village is formed by houses built in staircase-fashion on the foothills of a coastal mountain, and the village has the nickname of "Machu Picchu of Busan" (wow! I never know that, thanks Google). There are many murals and sculptures created by the residents.

and is a must to take picture with all these building behind you.

No joke, there is long queue when you want to have a nice picture of it.

The infamous "Little Prince" to see in Gamcheon Cultural Village, and there is a queue to get to him (taking picture with the murals/statues facing toward the colourful buildings). You can get lots of merchandise about this little prince.

I read this book before but sorry not a fans of it. I guess there is something I can learn in this book but somehow I don't get it still. Nevermind, I shall read it again the next time I have a feeling to it.

"I'm flying into the SKY above the floor"

and suggested to just taking a nice picture of me with the balloon coz it's so embarrassing that everyone looking at us weirdly.

I love all their creation in this village, everything is so colourful and artistic.

Imma not an artistic person but this somehow make me feel happy and joyful.

All kind of big mirror like this in the village and tbh I'm really so tired of climbing here and there.
The weather kinda cozy yet warm at the same time.

I'm sweating inside but cold at the outside wth.

Some 3D kinda art

It's autumn you see!

I love anything in autumn (as I said we went there in Nov 2018, is late autumn or winter and it snow the day after we touched down Malaysia T___T)

The Little Prince and Fox

Door we pass by

The village was really big until we need to run here and there just to get a nice spot. There are many photos which I have yet to collect from Shin lah.. But basically is like climbing a hill for 2 to 3 hours, can you imagine that?

I'm hungry throughout the climb!

The Korean Beef!

I usually don't eat beef in Malaysia but I tried in overseas and this is VERY GOOD AND JUICY!

And I think this is the shop we found there (or we done the research? WHATEVER!), and sorry I forgot the name of it.

You can just randomly go in a shop coz basically all shop served very authentic Korean food.

Look at how the beef being BBQ! OMG

This was not a cheap meal but SATISFACTION! I really wish to go there and have the Korean Beef again! It's really soft and juicy and... you must go there and try yourself.

And they also serve the best cold noodle I'd never had in my life.

I don't usually have cold noodle because it's taste weird most of the time but this completely change my perspective on cold noodle! It's so refreshing and COLD.

I love it.

After the meal, it's almost night time (again, this is like what 6pm or 5pm I think LOLOL) and we went to the bridge.

Busandaegyo Bridge (or some other bridge)

Sorry bridge, I'm not obsessing with bridge. Every bridge looks the same to me but it's pretty lah! It looks like the bridge I saw in Sydney and Melbourne too.

Don't blame me on my bad recognition on bridges.

  

Oily face but still satisfied with it. LOLOL

Good hair day I guessed.

Construction is going on at the other side of the bridge. I don't know, just describe by looking at the picture I took. 100 pictures with the same scenery duh!

HAHAHAHA!

AND AGAIN OUR DINNER/SUPPER ALWAYS END UP WITH THIS TTEOKBOKKI AND GIMBAP, it's ended our day nicely with both of them.

I can really have this all by my life. So yum! If someone told me Korean food is suck, you have no taste (LOLOL).

This was only first two days in Busan, South Korea.

I miss the places and travel so much OMAIGGGOODD!

I'll continue blogging the rest of my day (5 or 6 days) in South Korea in the next blog entry. wth!

By the time being, please stay at home during this MCO/circle break season and together we fight for the virus! 

KTHXBYE LOLOLOLOL

PS: no proofreading so bare with mistake 

Sorry!

Today mark the day that I must admit I was wrong. The way I treated others was wrong, the way my egoism make things complicated and I am the cause of the break of Tomo (ok! I am the cause of it).

I have read a book, The Magic Of Thinking BIG written by David J. Svhwartz, Ph.D and he said in order to think big, we shall Grow the Action Habit. And in order to grow the action habit, I shall practice these summarised key points:

1. Be an activationist

2. Don't wait until conditions are perfect. They never will be. 

3. Remember, ideas alone won't bring success

4. Use action to cure fear and gain confidence.

5. Start you mental engine mechanically.

6. Think in term of now.  

7. Get down to business

8. Seize the initiative

So now, I am gonna take this initiative right now! I have been a coward, hiding in a comfort zone thinking is all about being good for MYSELF instead of Tomo, and I know being hurt wasn't a great thing to feel it. I know I hurt them, of me being selfish and ego, I ruined the whole friendship and I have never take the initiative to amend it. I have lots of opportunity to mend it but with my egoism, I just leave it. Just like what the book said don't wait until conditions are perfect, coz they never will be, and it's true, our friendship getting awkward and I never have the courage to mend it anymore. I know I hurt not one but four of them, and you know what there is always no reason to hurt people because nobody is perfect in this world and I should accept human differences and limitations instead of writing some criticism in an open space that hurt them.

I wasn't good in talking serious matter in public and every apology words were in my mind and I know I should use action to cure fear and gain confidence to make thing better but I just couldn't do it. BUT I AM NOT GONNA WAIT ANYMORE, AND I SHOULD AMEND THIS RIGHT NOW!

This is a letter to my fellow besties Tomo5achi. 

Hello Tomo, 

It's been awhile since I really mentioned about this name, Tomo. I have always avoiding the name so that I wouldn't feel sad and sorry for myself, and you can see how selfish I am right? I bet all of you might not be able to realise this letter until someday you all start to think of reading my blog again but I just want to apologise publicly since I have wrote that criticism post (which has been deleted long time ago) toward you all 1.5 years ago.

Wow! I never realised we have not really talk for almost a year. Think about it, this was really quite long, we see each other occasionally in someone wedding but we rarely just talk heart-to-heart anymore and I know it is all my fault. I knew 4 of you have your own small gathering frequently and I tell you I seriously envious about it but my egoism told me not to do so. This is how coward I am, avoiding every single thing that will make me feel sad or envious. I don't really know what to do about it but I just want you all to know that I wish to go mend everything but I just don't know how to start. It has been spinning in my mind like thousand time, but I just couldn't say out and I feel hitting myself badly! (Often feel this way when there is a celebration such as today is birthday celebration day)

I remembered there is one time, like FINALLY I have been invited to bubble tea gathering, I was really happy coz finally I am being invited and you know what? It's rain heavily that day! We have no place to have a chat and one of you have suggested to go my house but I wasn't ready to show my house because my cousin's dog messed up the whole place and is very stinky to let you all in my house. I am sorry but I feel guilty until today. I wanted amend thing that day but again my cowardliness stop me. I should just read this book and mend thing that day. From that day onward, no more gathering already and I felt so sad!

There is another incidence whereby one of you got appendicitis and I guess everyone gone to visit except me. I wasn't ready to pay a visit because I have no idea what we shall about. Are you okay? Okay.. then mmmm... I think a lot but also my fault of not pay visit on this, and I have no reason for this! So Is all my fault. I am not getting sympathy, so nope, don't ever feel sympathy at all, is my fault. And there is one time travelling to Melbourne, I guess I have done something bad (?) that make the situation awkward? I have no idea what this had happened seriously, please tell me. I don't want to be hidden by some story behind that bother you all for so long. I need to explain every doubt that I have caused. Please let me know!!!

Dear Tomo, I am really sorry that I didn't take initiative to mend everything and I should do this.

Please if you have read this, I would like to invite you all to have a gathering for celebration or anything.  I just want to talk about it and I don't feel like being like this anymore. There is something that I need to clarify about with you all, I just wish you all see this and I am sincerely inviting for a gathering. 

And you all probably will think why on earth I did this in public instead of just a WhatsApp message or call will do, to be honest, I have try to think to invite using WhatsApp but the more I think about the consequences of being reject fear me from doing so. I hate rejection and I don't want it to happened during face-to-face, childish right? I know and I will correct my attitude for all these. I am sorry if I bother everyone of you on this! Writing this I probably can avoid some awkward situation whereby I being reject or something. I know this is not a good way but I sincerely thank you for my weird action.

I am sorry and thank you for tolerating me for so long.

Your sincerely,

Lydia

Dear BLOG| Today is another day

Hello guys!

Today is another day, another MCO day.

Another day to think about how we could survive throughout this MCO days. Nah! I definitely have no issue no this, introvert will always love to stay at home and chill.

Everyone were talking about how boring they are during this time, but I am kinda happy and relax all day long, reading, tv-ing, painting, studying and working. It's all good. I even comparing my cooking with sis and I can say we get better in our cooking skill during this time.

Anyway, as expected, MCO extended to 28 April 2020 and I think it will extend even longer after 28 April so let's see!

Keep thinking about what to update on this blog, kinda abandoned throughout the years. Let me clean up all my folder and I'm ready to post some of my nostalgia travel pictures. I will post in during this time I guess.

Stay tune for more!

xoxo
Lydia

Dear BLOG| Extended MCO

Movement Control Order ("MCO") has been extended to 14 April 2020 and to be safe road block is all around in Malaysia. To be honest, I totally lost count on the day of MCO (probably 14th or 15th of MCO).

With this, there are pros and cons, in which from the health perspective is good for us to just stay at home and don't spread the virus, but with economic perspective is not a really good timing.

Gratitude is the fairest blossom which spring from the soul - Henry Ward - 

I am grateful that at least I did not encounter pay cut at this situation. 

There are people not as lucky as me who are still able to work-from-home and get my monthly salary, many of them are suffering from their daily supplies (i.e. they earned daily income) as well as employer who suffer from pumping money to employees who are not working during this MCO. A lot of them have encounter pay cut, unpaid leave and government is pumping more money to the nation (although we didn't know where the money come from, that's another story that we really need to think about it.).  This has caused huge outflow of cash around Malaysia. Economic is really bad these days, stock market and oil price has significantly drop, not good at all. 

On the bright side is the air fresher, bird chirping louder, trees greener and etc. The earth is recovering as what they are saying less carbon dioxide is releasing from factory due to lockdown. For more information, you can just do some read up on this topic because I am not quite sure about how the earth changing right now. 

Be grateful and contented during difficult situation. 

Everything happened for a reason but yet we are should embrace it and be COOL.

I love you
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you

xoxo

Lydia

PS: Shall update more during this time