Dear BLOG: A perfect day for some thoughts

Since I have some time to actually “hae” during working hour, I shall write something.

How should I begin this…

Heard a song this morning while having my toilet break...

“ohh if I showed you my flaws, would you run away, or would you stay?”

Yes, if I showed you my flaws, would you run away or would you stay? This is what everyone was afraid of, or maybe that’s was just me. This was what I frequently asked myself last time, and just think about it, what am I afraid of? I am afraid of losing friendship? Or I am afraid of people don’t like me? But that’s wasn’t any that sync to what I am doing right now. I don’t often contact people that I don’t often interact with or contact me. There is one thing that I realized I changed friend often and I do not have any long-term friendship that stick to the end, probably only one or two?

I changed friend from kindergarten to primary to work life and I used to envy people who still has their childhood friend stick around. I wish to have it, but I don’t because I myself contact none of them. I believe we will be meeting each other again next time.

天下没有不散的宴席，、
但每一次的分离，
也都是为了下一次的重逢

So back to the topic of flaws…

I used to be this person that do not like people commenting on my flaws and I will get frustrated/anxious whenever someone easily point out my flaws unintentionally. I don’t really like it but just think about it, why should I be frustrated/angry when they point out? What’s make me frustrated/angry? LACK OF CONFIDENCE!

A person who lacks confidence/knowledge will frustrated when people point out their flaws. This is what I suppose! And just think about it, I am exactly that person last time and I am being more open minded when I am getting older. Right now! At the age of 30+ (with the pandemic), I am kinda release and realized how dumbass I am back then (I mean 2 or 3 years back – the darkest years of my life up to now). I just ruined everything with my frustration and anxious. My dumbass mind just thinks of blaming others for pointing out my flaws, my bad my stupidity. I am that frustrated person who really in angry mode all the time and tend to lock myself in darkness!

All thanks to this pandemic, I gained some self-acknowledgement on my thinking and I would not get frustrated or sad when others having fun or happiness. This is a good thing that at least I gained some self-realization during this scary pandemic. People just don’t point out something that is unnecessarily, and you know you can’t see your own flaws without anyone pointing out. You are weak on something and you shall enhance it without frustration/angry. You shall do something if you are not good enough and not blaming other not giving you any good resources.

You ruined something you amend it but if you can’t amend it, just let it go without looking back. When you regret and just think of what the root cause of it. You got no blame on others with your own wrong and keep moving forward to gain other thing that you have not discover.

每个人的一生中，
都有后悔的时刻，
但无论如何我们都无法使时光倒流。

就接受呗！

Thanks to all the people appeared in my life and sorry if I have no contacted most of them but you all meant something in my life up until now.

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

And Sorry if I have offended most of you in your past. 😊

PS: Nothing to do with any story in your mind, is just a thought for today. It is kinda dark post but believe me, this is the brightest post I’ve written throughout these few years. I am totally in my brightest mood while writing this! I love to read back what I have written in the future.

PSS: Sunny day for a blog post

PSSS: 10.10 is around the corner, please spend as much as you want during this time ok? HAHAHAHAHA #auntylifeforever

 

Alright, spent 15 minutes to write down thought was the best ever! Still, I do not know the name of the song ☹

**no read-proof, sorry if a lot of grammar mistake you have notice**

Back to the beginning

 Hello everyone!

I bet some of you have been suffering on losing job again and again throughout the year, especially we were in FMCO - Force MCO (Changed name like nobody) now. Honestly, I already too used to lockdown in Malaysia. 

I kinda frustrated when things are not properly plan when come to all these lockdown situation. I feel there is always people complaining when come to lockdown and I believe we also need to do our part in order to make it effective. I have read a lot of news and some really quite pissed me, especially those employee who force to go to office even though they are not the essential company. Why they simply just let their employees suffer? I know from employer point of view is that they need to monitor their employees there and then, and some claimed that WFH really not working for them due to people not going to work at home. But honestly if you don't trust your employees, why you hire them?

And I know most of my friend quite good in WFH situation and love it instantly because firstly we don't need to stuck in the jam to go to work, save time and more sleeping time. Secondly, we have more free time as in more time to complete our work as well. Honestly, I am not 100% focus on work during my wfh time BUT I'll make sure my job done before I even have a free time. And serious speaking, don't you feel guilty if you don't even completed your job before you are having fun?

Logically, people will feel guilty about it unless you are that kind of person who really don't like you job and don't give a shit on it. Then, that's fine, you win! What I am trying to say is please trust your employee, because they really did work at home and not taking their own sweet time when there is a deadline, please!

I sound like an aunty nagging all the time but I heard too much ridiculous way of handling employees during wfh. One of the  most ridiculous way is that boss will spot check their employees by having a sudden call, meaning their employee must be 24/7 on their laptop, even toilet break WTH!!!!?? 

Are you freaking kidding me? 

What if I got sudden stomachache? What if I already want to pangsai and still need to take my laptop to the toilet while I poo? You better be the same as what I did if you asked me to do so. Very funny huh!

So yup, nagging like a mom! Please trust your employee!

KTHXBYE! LOLOL

Recap of 2020

Is this too late to do a recap of 2020 in March?

Nah... Late better than none right?

2020 wasn't great for most of the people on earth, covid-19 has served everyone bad. I was being lock in the house (technically mco since 18 March) for a year and there are high and low during this year. 

Good:

1. Lose some weight 

I have reduced some weight and gained some muscle during mco, cmco, rmco whatever you wanna named it. Not like I really lost a lot of weight but I felt leaner and properly is just nothing for all of you when seeing me again but I felt so. 

2. Reconnecting with old friend

I have been in this emotional breakdown situation few years back after I back from Singapore and I don't know why everytime it hits me hard when think about it. I wasn't in a good situation at the beginning of 2020, but I had gradually alright and reconnected with old friend again. It's back to the old us of having fun chit-chatting all over again. Thanks shopeee LOLOL! You know what it meant for. 

3. Gained more knowledge 

I read a lot during lockdown and, trust me you will gain more knowledge on your mindset. I've been reading even before mco, but somehow, I picked up more during the so-called free time of mine.

4. Exercise regularly

Exercise wasn’t my thing until mco. I literally will feel faint after running in a treadmill or outside of the park, so cardio exercise was a no for me all the time until I pick it up in 2020. I can feel I gained more stamina and I can literally do a 30 mins intensive cardio without feeling fainted. Great job but it also causes me to have some health problem lah. that’s another thing to say about it.  

5. Self-care

I care more on myself than others. Self-care doesn’t mean you are selfish or what, but it helps you to build up more confidence. I do more plating on my meal, especially breakfast. I enjoyed every meal I had with movie, YouTube video or even drama. I used to simply have a meal and didn’t really enjoy much on it but this year I did it even for my breakfast. No rushing and enjoy.

Bad

1. Health condition

I have some hormone imbalance after intensive exercise (as what doctor prescribe) during mco so too much exercise also a no for our body and I learnt it. I am currently having medication for it and went through all the scanning weeks before. Pretty good still.

2. Social anxiety

I guess I will have some social anxiety after being at home for so long, but I tried to be active these days, for example hiking, yoga and etc to feel more activated. I’ve no seen friends for like ages and we used to joke around saying what if we are back to office and we can’t recognize everyone anymore LOLOL. To be honest, this wfh situation really make us feel apart and some of my colleague are leaving us soon sigh!

3. COVID-19

Ok! I shall put it as first but as you all know covid does impact our life a lot. Mask and sanitizer are a new norm. MCO, RMCO, CMCO wasn’t unfamiliar with everyone in the country. Even dining-out was a grateful thing for all of us. Grab and food panda were our friends same goes to Lazada and Shopee! They used to say it’s great that we lockdown so that we don’t spend much. Are you sure about it now? LOLOL

Throughout the year, I have gained more than losing it. Conclusion, 2020 wasn’t a bad year for me but I know it hurt most people especially those who losing their job because of this virus thing!

Hope 2021 will be a better year ahead.