Since I have some time to actually “hae” during working hour, I shall write something.
How should I begin this…
Heard a song this morning while having my toilet break...
“ohh if I showed you my flaws, would you run away, or would you
stay?”
Yes, if I showed you my flaws, would you run away or would
you stay? This is what everyone was afraid of, or maybe that’s was just me. This
was what I frequently asked myself last time, and just think about it, what am I
afraid of? I am afraid of losing friendship? Or I am afraid of people don’t like
me? But that’s wasn’t any that sync to what I am doing right now. I don’t often
contact people that I don’t often interact with or contact me. There is one
thing that I realized I changed friend often and I do not have any long-term
friendship that stick to the end, probably only one or two?
I changed friend from kindergarten to primary to work life
and I used to envy people who still has their childhood friend stick around. I wish
to have it, but I don’t because I myself contact none of them. I believe we will be meeting each other again next time.
天下没有不散的宴席，、
但每一次的分离，
也都是为了下一次的重逢
So back to the topic of flaws…
I used to be this person that do not like people commenting
on my flaws and I will get frustrated/anxious whenever someone easily point out
my flaws unintentionally. I don’t really like it but just think about it, why should I be frustrated/angry when they point out? What’s make me
frustrated/angry? LACK OF CONFIDENCE!
A person who lacks confidence/knowledge will frustrated when
people point out their flaws. This is what I suppose! And just think about it, I
am exactly that person last time and I am being more open minded when I am
getting older. Right now! At the age of 30+ (with the pandemic), I am kinda
release and realized how dumbass I am back then (I mean 2 or 3 years back – the
darkest years of my life up to now). I just ruined everything with my
frustration and anxious. My dumbass mind just thinks of blaming others for pointing
out my flaws, my bad my stupidity. I am that frustrated person who really in
angry mode all the time and tend to lock myself in darkness!
All thanks to this pandemic, I gained some self-acknowledgement
on my thinking and I would not get frustrated or sad when others having fun or
happiness. This is a good thing that at least I gained some self-realization
during this scary pandemic. People just don’t point out something that is unnecessarily,
and you know you can’t see your own flaws without anyone pointing out. You are
weak on something and you shall enhance it without frustration/angry. You shall
do something if you are not good enough and not blaming other not giving you
any good resources.
You ruined something you amend it but if you can’t amend it,
just let it go without looking back. When you regret and just think of what the
root cause of it. You got no blame on others with your own wrong and keep
moving forward to gain other thing that you have not discover.
每个人的一生中，
都有后悔的时刻，
但无论如何我们都无法使时光倒流。
就接受呗！
Thanks to all the people appeared in my life and sorry if I have
no contacted most of them but you all meant something in my life up until now.
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
And Sorry if I have offended most of you in your past. 😊
PS: Nothing to do with any story in your mind, is just a thought
for today. It is kinda dark post but believe me, this is the brightest post I’ve
written throughout these few years. I am totally in my brightest mood while
writing this! I love to read back what I have written in the future.
PSS: Sunny day for a blog post
PSSS: 10.10 is around the corner, please spend as much as
you want during this time ok? HAHAHAHAHA #auntylifeforever
Alright, spent 15 minutes to write down thought was the best
ever! Still, I do not know the name of the song ☹
**no read-proof, sorry if a lot of grammar mistake you have notice**
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