Monday, September 27, 2021

Dear BLOG: A perfect day for some thoughts

Since I have some time to actually “hae” during working hour, I shall write something.

How should I begin this…

Heard a song this morning while having my toilet break...

“ohh if I showed you my flaws, would you run away, or would you stay?”

Yes, if I showed you my flaws, would you run away or would you stay? This is what everyone was afraid of, or maybe that’s was just me. This was what I frequently asked myself last time, and just think about it, what am I afraid of? I am afraid of losing friendship? Or I am afraid of people don’t like me? But that’s wasn’t any that sync to what I am doing right now. I don’t often contact people that I don’t often interact with or contact me. There is one thing that I realized I changed friend often and I do not have any long-term friendship that stick to the end, probably only one or two?

I changed friend from kindergarten to primary to work life and I used to envy people who still has their childhood friend stick around. I wish to have it, but I don’t because I myself contact none of them. I believe we will be meeting each other again next time.

天下没有不散的宴席,、
但每一次的分离,
也都是为了下一次的重逢

So back to the topic of flaws…

I used to be this person that do not like people commenting on my flaws and I will get frustrated/anxious whenever someone easily point out my flaws unintentionally. I don’t really like it but just think about it, why should I be frustrated/angry when they point out? What’s make me frustrated/angry? LACK OF CONFIDENCE!

A person who lacks confidence/knowledge will frustrated when people point out their flaws. This is what I suppose! And just think about it, I am exactly that person last time and I am being more open minded when I am getting older. Right now! At the age of 30+ (with the pandemic), I am kinda release and realized how dumbass I am back then (I mean 2 or 3 years back – the darkest years of my life up to now). I just ruined everything with my frustration and anxious. My dumbass mind just thinks of blaming others for pointing out my flaws, my bad my stupidity. I am that frustrated person who really in angry mode all the time and tend to lock myself in darkness!

All thanks to this pandemic, I gained some self-acknowledgement on my thinking and I would not get frustrated or sad when others having fun or happiness. This is a good thing that at least I gained some self-realization during this scary pandemic. People just don’t point out something that is unnecessarily, and you know you can’t see your own flaws without anyone pointing out. You are weak on something and you shall enhance it without frustration/angry. You shall do something if you are not good enough and not blaming other not giving you any good resources.

You ruined something you amend it but if you can’t amend it, just let it go without looking back. When you regret and just think of what the root cause of it. You got no blame on others with your own wrong and keep moving forward to gain other thing that you have not discover.

每个人的一生中,
都有后悔的时刻,
但无论如何我们都无法使时光倒流。

就接受呗!

Thanks to all the people appeared in my life and sorry if I have no contacted most of them but you all meant something in my life up until now.

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

And Sorry if I have offended most of you in your past. 😊

PS: Nothing to do with any story in your mind, is just a thought for today. It is kinda dark post but believe me, this is the brightest post I’ve written throughout these few years. I am totally in my brightest mood while writing this! I love to read back what I have written in the future.

PSS: Sunny day for a blog post

PSSS: 10.10 is around the corner, please spend as much as you want during this time ok? HAHAHAHAHA #auntylifeforever

 

Alright, spent 15 minutes to write down thought was the best ever! Still, I do not know the name of the song ☹


**no read-proof, sorry if a lot of grammar mistake you have notice**

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